6 Ways to Meet the Opposite Sex:1. Friends and family 2. Community groups 3. Volunteer Work 4. Online Dating 5. Sports games. 6. Speed dating. All of these are great ways to meet people if you have dating anxiety.
It is hard enough for a guy to ask a girl for a date but what if you are the shy guy who needs to develop a positive self image to be able to even ask a girl for a date.
You will need to learn to feel good about yourself in order to build your self esteem. You will also need to learn that there are as many shy girls as there are shy guys. If nobody takes the initiative than how do shy guys meet shy girls? Someone has to take the first step. Might as well be you because even a shy guy can develop a positive self-image.
Here are some steps that will help you to live with your shyness and appreciate you for who you are…
• Appreciate all that your body can do, like running, dancing, breathing and dreaming. Yes, dreaming about that perfect girl.
• List the top 10 things you like about yourself. Read that list often and continue adding to it as you think of more things about yourself that you admire.
• Learn that beauty is skin deep. However, true beauty reflects in how you carry yourself. “Beauty is a state of mind” not a state of your body.
• When you look in the mirror, see yourself as you would want others to see you. Do you want someone to see just a small part of you, usually your weakness? Or do you want them to see you as an entire person?
• Surround yourself with people who are positive. People who are supportive of you will build your confidence. They know that a shy guy can develop a positive self image.
• Don’t pay attention to images, slogans or attitudes that make you feel bad about yourself. You already have a problem with shyness. Why be reminded of it?
• Take the time to do something nice to yourself. Find a peaceful place to relax and think of nothing but yourself and the improvements you have already made.
• Don’t take after the latest fashion. Your body is unique unto yourself. You cannot pour yourself into a buff tank top if you have no muscles or are sporting a pot belly. You want people to notice you for you and not for your physique.
Don’t listen to those nagging voices that say you can’t do something. You can and you can do so with short affirmations knowing that the shy guy can develop a positive self-image.
As a shy man, I remember the difficulties of being single, particularly in my twenties when it was expected of me to spend my time at bars and clubs. It would take me weeks to work up the nerve to approaching a woman. Once I did work up the nerve, I would be so stressed out that I only made the woman uncomfortable when I was approached her. Most advice stated that all a shy man had to do was “be confident” which was frustrating, as if my shyness were some switch I could turn on or off at will. I was never able to follow this advice but I was still able to find great success with dating.
What Worked for Me
The thing that most advice givers get wrong when approaching shyness is to assume that the only way to fix the problem is to change the person. I could not disagree with this more. If you can change the situation, the person can remain the same and still have success. Consider this: many shy people can be confident in well defined situations. The shyest guy in the world can still act with confidence at work or on a basketball team because they have comfort within their well-defined role. Most shy people will admit that there are situations where they act with great confidence.
With that in mind, I strongly recommend trying online dating for any shy men out there. I personally had amazing success with it and here are my reasons why:
1. People are there to date. Online dating provides the boundaries that many shy men need. There is no need to worry if she already has a boyfriend, if she is looking to date or if she is close enough to your age to ask out. These women are using these services for one purpose: to meet single men. Shy men are often guilty of over-thinking situations and this helps remove most of that problem.
2. Rejection is easier to handle. This is true for many reasons but I will just discuss a couple. First, rejection normally comes in the absence of a response. Rarely do you have to deal with some awkward situation where you instantly regret approaching the woman – she will either respond or she won’t. Second, you are not putting your day-to-day relationships with women at risk. Ask a woman from work out and you may be dealing with uncomfortable silences for the next six months. Ask a woman out online and get turned down and you are likely to never see her again.
3. You will see confidence gains both online and offline. This was very true for me as I started finding many dates online. When I had two first dates scheduled for the next week and I met a woman I was interested in at a bar, it did not matter nearly so much when she turned me down. I still had two dates to look forward to!
4. You are changing your situation, not yourself. I hated the idea that many people try to sell that says the only way you will meet someone is if you make yourself into something else. I don’t want to lie about who I am just so I can convince someone to date me. Isn’t that building a relationship on a lie? I was able to be shy and still have great success dating when I used the internet. I did not have to change myself to have success and nothing made me happier than proving that all bad advice that said I had to do otherwise was wrong.
Do Not Believe the Bad Advice
You can be yourself and have success. I am now happily married and never had to lie once to my wife about my personality. Do not obsess with changing yourself. Change your situation to one that you can work well within and it will make a world of difference.
Brad Miller runs the a blog called Little Red Rails, dedicated to providing online dating advice and tips. He struggled with dating for many years but eventually found online dating to be a great solution. He dated online aggressively for a year, doing very poorly at first but through some hard learning found great success, eventually leading him to meeting his wife. His site covers everything from general topics like eHarmony prices to more specific topics like creating your dating profile.
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It can be difficult to start a conversation with any guy, but it can be even harder if you’re trying to talk with a shy guy. A shy guy isn’t personally trying to make your life harder, I promise, but his quiet nature can make it especially hard to get him to open up. Here are a few tips for starting a conversation for the shy guy that you have your eye on.
Talking to the shy guy
This step is going to take a lot of guts, but there is no way around it. If you want to start a conversation with a shy guy, you’re going to have to be the one to initiate the conversation. Try not to put a lot of time into thinking about what you’re going to say, you don’t want to sound like you’ve rehearsed a script. Try to just keep it a general topic with an upbeat tone.
Once you’ve started talking: observe him. Does he look comfortable with you? Is he blushing, stammering, or shoving his hands in his pockets? Don’t take it personally if he seems extremely nervous, it’s just his shy guy nature. Try to keep the conversation going as long as it feels natural. If there is a long lull in the conversation, try bringing it to a close. Say something reassuring to him, such as: “It’s been great talking to you, but I have to run.”
Repeat these steps as often as necessary, until your shy guy starts to open up. It may take a few times, or a lot more. Just keep the conversation going; he will start to become more comfortable with you. After his nerves start easing up, allow him to direct the conversation a little more. Incorporate some flirty moves, like touching his arm while you laugh together.
Getting a shy guy to open up takes some effort, but it is worth it. If you follow these simple steps and keep a positive attitude, that shy guy will be all yours in no time! Good luck, and don’t give up!
Shy guy advice
Hey you. Yeah, I’m talking to you! You and every shy guy out there who finds himself tongue tied when it comes to speaking to a woman. Heads up, gents. Online dating can open up new doors of opportunities with a little help from real world dating tips that work. The shy guy can spice up his matchmaking with some of these ideas.
Looks Count Women love compliments. Comment on how attractive she is. Yes, women do want to know they are pretty, even if they are online and you cannot see them and have no idea. So in your communications, ask questions that would help you know, but in an unobtrusive way like – how do you wear your hair? And then say how attractive that must look. A woman’s online dating profile picture is the easiest way to find something nice to say. This is something even the shy guy can do. Tell her something nice about the way she wears her hair, the shirt she is wearing, the color of her eyes, or the way she smiles.
Kindness Counts Point out nice things or the lemonade in life – nice things the other person has mentioned, nice acts the person has done, or good things on the news. Be upbeat, and forget those lemons in life. Even in email a person can shout, by using all capital letters. So show manners and kindness. Keep swearing, unkind remarks, and prejudice out of your communications.
So add some helpful real-world tips that do work (a lot of the time anyway) into your online dating equations. And come up on the positive side of romance – and enjoy more lemonade!
Shy guys can check out the Online Game Internet Attraction System-Learn how to attract women through your computer from facebook, my space or any online dating site!